Turok 2: S*** of Evil

Finally, a chance to relax after a taxing first week at my new job. What's a long holiday weekend without beer, junk food, and video games? Except that a particular video game - Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - spoiled my mood with it's insane difficulty and horrible framerates. But worst of all is the level design. When you need an FAQ to beat every level in the game, the developers screwed up somewhere.

Turok 2 has gorgeous graphics and tons of cool guns. But when the bullets/plasma/explody arrows start flying, the framerate drops are blinding. Things are better if you disable the high res mode, going sans-expansion pak. With the expansion pak, T2 looks like it comes close to a PC resolution.

Maybe I'll just stick to my favorite N64 games this summer; Perfect Dark, Goldeneye, Battle for Naboo. Quake was ok, Quake II was crap, Turok fun for a while. I reserve the stinkiest of stinkeyes, however, for Super Mario 64. What's not to love about sending a short, tubby Italian plumber to his death? Not worth my time, or the $3 I paid for it.

Ocarina of Time, Daddy's back, baby! It's been too long...

Frustration is...

...aiming with one analog stick and moving with four tiny, yellow buttons.

My friend Brad and I were playing some Turok 2 and Quake multi on the N64 the other day. He got pretty frustrated with the controls (that, and I was whooping his ass), so we gave it up.

It does take some getting used to, I'll admit. Thank Train God for autoaim. But I'm challenging myself to master Nintendo's thumb-punisher.

Think of it as an exercise in tolerance. If I can adapt to an N64 controller, I might be able to hate J-RPGs, racing games, sports games, the Wii, and the PlayStation 3 a little less.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'll always hate J-RPGs. They're just so... Japanesy.

See, I told ya I'd include more pictures from here on out!